[spits onto the ground] Marwood: Get out of it for a while. I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? These are the best withnail and I quotes. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. Imagine getting into a fight with the f***er! Withnail: Withnail: All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Withnail: You won't keep us anywhere. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. We're incompatible. Thanks! Balls! We're in this cottage here. Of course he's the fucking farmer! "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director" Course he does! I think we'd better release you from the lgumes and transfer your talents to the meat. As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! Honestly. How dare you call me inhumane! A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. Be seated. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. Dead down the drain? And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" I mean look at us! Withnail: I need at least an hour for lunch. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] Required fields are marked *. This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. I do. It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. Just you wait! I say, you know what we should do? Danny: Danny: We'll have another pair of large scotches. Do you like to experience all facets of life? There can be no true beauty without decay. Withnail: If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Withnail: Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Scrubbers! I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. How dare you call me inhumane?! Withnail: My thumbs have gone weird! [Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood], [Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce]. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. Why can't I get on television? Look at Geoff Woade. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! But no man's put me down yet. I don't consciously offend big men like this. Ponce! This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! It'll happen. Withnail: I could take double anything you could. I want something's flesh! Monty: Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. No! Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! I don't advise a haircut, man. His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. I demand to have some booze! Danny: Danny's here. 1 comment. reading, studying, and reflecting this history have led to this moment. I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! 10 quotes from Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay: 'We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.' . As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops. Withnail: You merely imagined it. It's too hot so he drops it]. Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Marwood: The murder and All-Bran and rape. What have you done to them? Jake: Then why's he wearing that old suit? I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. Ah! It's you he wants. He won't gore you. [calmly] Of course you are! And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Cunt gave him two years. Vegetables again. Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . I brought two of these in case either of you is any good in the kitchen. Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres Monty: This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. [holding umbrella in rain] Withnail: Withnail: Tactical necessity. It's like great yellow sock. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Sherry? If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! What's your name, MacFuck? [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] Sod your pheasants! We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. What happened to my cigar commercial? report. He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. Monty: His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. Marwood: My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. Jake: Withnail: And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. Marwood: Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. "Withnail and I Quotes." Withnail: Look at this; accident blackspot? Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Hare. "GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!" "I feel like a pig shat in my head." "Don't threaten me with a dead fish." "A coward you are, Withnail. What's in your hump? I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later. Withnail: [overtaking a car on the motorway] Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm? Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. That's what you say. What a piece of work is a man. Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't. Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. I've only had a few ales. What is all this tactical necessity and calculated risk? Add spice to it. This *is* the morning. Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. *Arrrgh*! by Anonymous: . All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Uncle Monty: Oh! You mustn't blame him. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Half an hour? Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. Withnail: What are you doing up here, then? Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. Scrubbers! Your sensitivity overwhelms me. I might come and see you lads in the week. Marwood: Withnail: Ive told you why. No, no, no, dear boy, you must leave, you must leave. What should we do? Nor women neither. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. Especially that. This is me naked in a corner! [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Marwood: Suits me. Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! Danny: I wondered if you could sell us some food. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Monty: Well, of course you dont, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? [with his mouth full] Danny: Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! Withnail: The movie, which ta. [Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor]. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. Marwood: Marwood: Little tarts, they love it! Policeman 2: We're coming back in here. What on Earth are those? [they stop and look at each other. Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. We'll keep them here til they arrive. He can eat his ****ing radish. Withnail: In this case, it most certainly would not. Marwood: I've been to drama school. If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. There must and shall be aspirin! We've got to get some booze. the web and also on Android and iOS. I feel unusual. Because I want to walk you to the station. Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. But old now, old. I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. You never discuss your family do you? Withnail: He's going into your room. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." I tried not to. If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. Tanks. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Marwood: She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Monty: He's been fed from arsehole to beak. This ain't fancy dress." Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. I think an evening at The Crow. Get into countryside, rejuvenate. Law rather appeals to me actually. Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. [voiceover] Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. It's ridiculous. Marwood: (Voice-over) Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] *Fork it*! You hold it down, I'll strangle it. Marwood: The entire sink's gone rotten. I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. Withnail: They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! You're looking very beautiful, man. We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. He's a madman. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Marwood: Withnail: I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Shut that gate and keep it shut! I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. No, that is a dog. It's society's crime, not ours. Withnail & I (1987) clip with quote "Here hare, here." Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. Dont be ridiculous. Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. Where did you school? Be seated. What are you talking about, Danny? Just run at it! Withnail: "I fuck arses." Marwood: Me? Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. Marwood: Jesus Christ! He says he wont come in for lunch without an apology. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. [removing his sunglasses] And we want them here, and we want them now! [clearly drunk] Withnail: Come on, old boy. Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. Withnail: Maybe he f***s arses! It will die, it will die! Eggs and things. [narrating over scene] Marwood: You know what we should do? Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. The meaning dawns on him. Withnail: Rejuvenate! I was merely making an observation.

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