Because, as mentioned above, the question implies that the question asker does not care about what the person they asked it to has to say. Dont make me come in there! This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet. Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Because every play has a cast. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Everyone loves a good crowd-pleaserthat's why we call them that! Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. Do you want to hear a construction joke? Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Following that logic, this rhetorical joke doesnt have an answer either. 4. Ivana who? So they don't peel. Sucka dick and let me in. A deodor-ant. I didnt ask for your opinion either, so why respond. I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. Why do we like volcanoes? I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. How you respond when someone says something you dont like is entirely up to you. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. He's all right now. "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. 2.) Da brie was everywhere. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. 2. This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. Cookie Notice 25. If they ask, "Who asked?" That's it for now! 40. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!". Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. She wanted it in case she had to draw blood. Hey! Call and tell her about it. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: This response is funny because it turns the situation around on the question asker. What do you call a deaf gynecologist? 30. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. Did you hear about the depressed plumber? What do you call a fish with no eyes? If only theyd come around andtake him off my hands. How do you make holy water? How does an octopus go into battle? Between you and me, something smells. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? Looking for some laughs today? Because theyre really good at it. Your mind might want to dance, but your body is a really awkward white guy. Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain their rude question. Now the focus has shifted back to them, showing anyone in earshot how rude the first question was, making them embarrassed and making you laugh. Tap To Copy. For example, Alexa can tell you Star Wars jokes, yo mama jokes and even some interesting trivia facts. Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. 22. 35. To. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. What do we want? Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. 3. When did I ask - slang Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. 100 Best Corny Jokes of All Time. Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. Knock Knock Whos there? How do you open a banana? A meltdown. I had to put my foot down. Reporter: Excuse me, may I interview you?. Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentines Day? Why did the cow jump over the moon? If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? Knock Knock. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Kid 1: Hey, I bet youre still a virgin., When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper You did this.. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? The Best Dad Jokes 2023. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". 49. well, almost never! One looks at the other and says, You know how to drive this thing?!. Why did the chicken cross the road? ThanksI'll never part with it. 37. What do you call a fake noodle? Youre bootiful, fancy going for a walk?! What is the opposite of a croissant? You know we always have the funniest jokes up our sleeve, whether youre searching for short jokes, corny jokes, or even bad jokes you cant help but chuckle at. In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. If youre a word nerd, here are 20 grammar jokes that are hilarious. The sheer awkwardness of the situation should set in eventually and the person will walk away. 14. Dont assume thats not a major incentive. What did one wall say to the other? She gave me an Australian kiss. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. } else { This worked so well! If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. Anal makes your hole weak. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. What did one plate say to the other plate? By the taste. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. I hope Death is a woman. Good luck. Why do cows have bells? There were two goldfish in a tank. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. What did the grape do when it was sat on? After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing's for surewe've got the all-time greatest Valentine's jokes for you! 20. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." Whats the difference between your wife and your job? No, but you need all the help you can get. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? Banana Jokes. Why is England the wettest country? I can totally keep secrets. Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. Not by a long shot. Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Sometimes its good to learn new things. Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. How do you eat a squirrel? No? He told me to stop going to those places. The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news.". 21. It lightens the weights we carry in life, uplifts our moods, and bonds us to those we share in it with. The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. There was nothing left but de-Brie. When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. Country Living editors select each product featured. Hot, because you can catch cold. Because below, we've put together a long list of the funniest jokes the internet has to offer. Confused by some of these clever jokes? What did the left eye say to the right eye? Would you rather have a million bucks, or [insert name]s head full of nickels? Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? If a woman talks dirty to a man, thatll be $6.50 a minute. You guys didn't like it. See ya! Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. What did the left eye say to the right eye? A pork chop. How did the pig get to the hogspital? My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. He only comes once a year. This ability to anonymously put your thoughts out there for others to see leads people to frequently type and publish things they would NEVER say to someone's face. Her face was flush with love. Because they'll never meet. A bear walks into a restaurant. Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". Two peanuts were walking down the street. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally this terrible of a person? Broomates. King Henry the Second. The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. Love means nothing to them. []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" Robin. Explanation: "Drei"pronounced "dry"is German for "three . How did you quit smoking? A gummy bear. You just have to listen varicosely. These classic What did.? What did the left eye say to the right eye? Should You Be Rude to Comments Like These? navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), Funnier Or More Funny Comparative & Superlative Forms, 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My D*ck (Witty & Clever), 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." Right where you left it. What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? Jokes for Kids 2022 | Beano.com. If you are looking for a complete list of Cortana commands, check out this page . For fingering a minor. Descartes replies, I think not and promptly disappears. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. "What's the good news?". Because their horns don't work! He was deadlifting. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. Jokes for Kids 2022. Never mind, it's over your head. As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. I was kidnapped by mimes once. So what's the best way to get your child to tap into their funny side? He pasta-way. Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. A slipper. messedupcole18 3 yr. ago. Whenever someone has a health problem or feels like" A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. Hes been going through some shit. Here's the URL for this Tweet. No, but I wanted to save you the trouble of thinking for yourself. Where does the general keep his armies? It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. What do you call a fake noodle? 28. 1. * You didn't ask me? If you find yourself on the receiving end of a "your mom" joke, one option is to laugh it off. This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! Earbuds. So read on for some of the funniest two-line jokes and quick quips around, and don't forget to pass them on to your equally immature friends. 2. Explanation: The setup of the joke calls for a To who? response, in which To is standing in for a person. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Your Mom. When they get to the ski lodge there arent enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. Then it hit me. Sharing is caring! if you were actually the one being rude and butted into a conversation you were not a part of, a clever or funny response is not appropriate and it would be best to say nothing and simply step away. Answer: Audi Question : What is the quickest way to speed . "Dill me in!". For more information, please see our What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. His wife asked me if I could say a quick word. There are few things more frustrating than feeling like youre being ignored. Your girlfriend makes it hard. Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. A limbo champ walks into a bar. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. When he thinks he's "him" but he's really just another "he" som original - . 5. After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. "You look drunk.". What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? Because 7-8-9.

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