While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? Q: What is a mother of 27 children? This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? A: David Frost. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. . A: Earth, Wind and Fire. kaleido? The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? Browse more quotes by famous person's name. A: Bible belt. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." A: "I never promised you a rose garden." Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. [1] Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. . Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. A: Zippo Marx. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a A: "Here's Boomer." . ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! A: The CIA. A: De-frost. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. A: Cyclone. A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. skirt. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. parents. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. bathroom? 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. ED: Certainly worth waiting for ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. juice? Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php A: The Rock of Gibralter. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. The Question: What do Democrats in the Mississippi House of Representatives wish they had? CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. tissue. A: Hickory Dickory Dock. . While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Line: 68 plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. A: Sex. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Contents A: Flypaper. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? I forgot aboutyour total recall. This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. Function: _error_handler, Message: Invalid argument supplied for foreach(), File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? cleanup team? be sending Georgia soon? Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy A: Burn the candle at both ends. A: The diamond lane. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. says? This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: "Hi diddly dee." Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. A: Milk and honey. No one knows the contents of I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. Forum Novelties. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? . This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! Tell a friend Ask a question. . seats. Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune Q: Who ruined that darn rug? The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. A: Shake-N-Bake. "You Light Up My Life.". A: Old wives tale. A: Never on Sunday. Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. A: "Yes man." Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. . , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. A: Unleash. They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? A: High rollers. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? A: The American people. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. you? The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. A: Touch and Go. Key'n'Stroke. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire Is that a reptile? Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. A: Ultra-conservative. A: Planter's Punch. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". Mouse over chart for play descriptions. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. A: Supervisor. Return to Humor Page In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! A: Damnation Alley. compartment in your sister. Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. A: Grape Nuts. Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. A: Pot luck. A: Eight is enough. Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. A: At both ends. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. A: Peter Pan. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. A: The Laughing Policeman. up your turban. In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women.